For An Alternative Rush

Much has been said about the “gifted child” but in truth every child is born with unlimited potential. As expressed so well by Orison Marden:

“Deep within man dwell those slumbering powers; powers that would astonish him, that he never dreamed of possessing; forces that would revolutionize his life if aroused and put into action.”

This statement can be true for your child. Not just if he’s a “gifted child” but any child. Indeed, perhaps we should consider a “gifted child” to be a child whose parents have gifted him with a high self-esteem.

Children with high self-esteem are happier and more successful. Low self-esteem is common in children who are performing badly at school, have behavioural problems and suffer from depression.

The Newborn

The “helpless” newborn baby actually comes into the world well equipped with the power to get what she wants. Not only do her cries bring her parents running to tend to her; she also uses her body and facial language to get what she wants. It’s no coincidence that babies learn to smile while they are still very small - it is an essential tool in their armoury of communication. A baby with a disarming smile can frequently wrap mommy or daddy round her little finger!

At this early stage, it’s important to respond to all your baby attempts at communication. Attend to her when she cries (this does not preclude training her gently into a stable routine), mirror her attempts at facial communication and reward the infant sounds she makes by praising her and talking back to her.

The “Can-Do” Toddler

Toddlers are into everything! They are learning so fast about the world around them and want to explore everything, touch everything and even try to eat many things.

It is such a crucial stage and one that is stifled by many parents. Yes, you need to control your child’s behavior so that he doesn’t hurt himself or damage valuable property. But you also need to give him opportunities to express this exploratory behavior without constant criticism and telling-offs.

Put valuables out of reach and supply your child with toys or household items that he can play with safely. Try to find time to get down on the floor and play with your toddler. Let him watch you and imitate you. He could play on the kitchen floor with some pots and wooden spoons while you are cooking.

Discipline

I want to emphasize up front that I believe discipline is very important, because I don’t want you to think in any of what follows that I’m advocating spoiling your child. Some parents call this “allowing the child to enjoy the freedom of youth.” These parents are entitled, of course, to raise their children however they wish.

But if you want your child to grow into a successful adult, you would do better by teaching her firmly what is and isn’t acceptable in present day society. And, just as importantly, helping her to learn self-discipline and that you will support her in achieving anything she wants, as long as she does so ethically.

Discipline should be sensitive, thoughtful and appropriate. You should strive to never lose your temper but to discipline your child calmly and firmly. When is discipline appropriate? When your child’s actions (or lack of them) may harm herself or others. When is discipline not appropriate? When it is purely for the parent’s own selfish preferences.

Talk to Your Child

Positive talk with your child and generally within the household cannot be over-emphasized. Avoid criticism wherever possible; it is praise that produces good, successful behavior. Be sure to find at least one thing to praise in your child every day. Even better, give praise as often as possible.

Are you having problems finding good behaviors to praise? If so, give your child a task to do that you know he is capable of. Children love earning their parents’ approval. Also remember to praise your child for trying, on those occasions that he is not successful.

Set a good example; talk about your goals and successes, and teach your child by example to accept compliments gracefully. Resist the temptation to put yourself down when you are complimented - instead, say a simple Thank You. That’s an important sign of a healthy self-esteem.

The other side of the coin to talking is, of course, listening. It is very important to listen to your child. When there is something he is upset about, don’t sweep it under the carpet by saying “Don’t be silly!” Whatever it is might seem totally trivial to you but often all your child needs is for you to empathise. “I’m sorry you feel sad about that.” He may then come up with a solution, or put the incident behind him without further help. Or, you can suggest a solution.

The Power of Desire

You can give your child the best possible schooling, teach all the important techniques of success, encourage goal setting and set a fantastic example. But that is not enough! All these good things have one vitally important pre-requisite. Before you can achieve anything, you must know what you really, really want.

A burning desire is the first, most important and essential step towards any major achievement. As a parent, you are in a unique position to influence another person’s desires - your child’s. By the time they reach their teens, you will have lost this influence to a significant degree, as young adults are swayed much more by their peers’ opinions than their parents’.

So make the most of the early years by instilling positive, beneficial desires in your children. The desire to do well academically could shape your child’s further education and career much more than her innate ability.

How can you instil desire? Telling stories is a great way. Children love stories! Be creative and tell stories where the hero or heroine has a burning desire for something, overcomes challenges and set backs, and achieves the desired outcome. Try telling stories where a child achieves academic success, which in turn results in something even more desirable. For instance, one story could tell of a child who has a burning desire to travel to the North Pole. She succeeds academically and thus wins an award, which makes her dream come true. Tailor the stories to your own child’s life and experiences as much as you can.

The famous author Napoleon Hill used story-telling to instil in his almost-deaf son both a burning desire to hear, and a firm belief that his disability would actually bestow upon him a great advantage (although at the time even his father had no idea what that advantage could be). By the time this boy left college, he had against the odds acquired a hearing aid that enabled him to hear clearly for the first time in his life. More remarkably, he had justified his father’s belief by securing a marketing position with the hearing aid manufacturer to bring the same benefit to millions of other deafened people.

“Gifted child”? Give your child the gift of self-esteem, and you will give him the gift of happiness.

About The Author

Cassie Simons is the author of “How to Help Your Child Succeed”, a revolutionary approach to guilt-free parenting.

Positive Parenting, Gifted Child

Visit http://www.KidsGoals.com today for the secrets of raising successful children.

cassie@kidsgoals.com

The following article covers a topic that has recently moved to
center stage–at least it seems that way. If you’ve been
thinking you need to know more about weddings, here’s your
opportunity.

Recently the number of out of town guests attending weddings has
been on the rise. Years ago, young people grew up and got
married in the town they had lived in all their lives but
nowadays couples are attending out of state colleges and
accepting jobs far away from their hometown. This travel leads
to more and more out of town guests attending weddings as the
couple may have friends from their hometown, friends from
college and friends from the new area where they live and work.
Wherever the couple opts to get married there are bound to be a
number of guests who are traveling from out of state for the
occasion. As the attendance of out of town guests is a
relatively new phenomenon, there are not many established
traditions regarding out of town guests and the couple has some
leeway to deal with the situation as they see fit.

It has become commonplace for the couple to reserve a block of
rooms at a hotel that is near the wedding location for their out
of town guests. Many hotels will offer a discounted rate if you
block out a certain number of rooms. Knowing that you can assure
the hotel of a number of guests, gives the hotel the ability to
offer a lower rate because they are assured a certain number of
booked rooms. Out of town guests will appreciate this gesture
because they are receiving a lower rate than they would have
found on their own plus they are spared the hassle and
inconvenience of trying to find a hotel in an unfamiliar city.

One increasingly popular trend for accommodating out of town
guests is to prepare a package featuring brochures and
information regarding some of the points of interest in your
city and mailing this package out to all of your out of town
guests a few weeks before the wedding. Since many out of town
guests may try to schedule a vacation around the wedding, this
packages offers them a good starting point in their research by
highlighting some of the tourist attractions in the area. You
could also include a listing of local restaurants and personal
recommendations for your guests.

Now that we’ve covered those aspects of weddings, let’s turn to
some of the other factors that need to be considered.

Guests who travel from out of town to attend your wedding are
making a sacrifice to do so and it is important to let them know
that you appreciate the effort they are making to attend your
wedding. There are a couple of ways to do this. One way to do
this is to find out where your out of town guests will be
staying and when they will be arriving. Once you have this
information you can prepare a welcome bag for the out of town
guests and drop them off at the hotel and instruct the staff to
give them to your guests upon their arrival. As your guest are
likely to be tired from their trip, some suggestions for items
to include in these welcome bags may include a light snack
featuring local specialties and relaxation items such as bath
salts and candles. This small gesture really lets your guests
know that their presence is appreciated.

Another option to consider for accommodating out of town guests
is to include them in the rehearsal dinner. This is a lovely
gesture because it sends the message that you are glad that they
have traveled to attend your wedding and that you are interested
in spending additional time with them. If it is not economically
feasible to include all of your out of town guests at the
rehearsal dinner you should consider making another effort to
spend some additional time with them such as inviting them over
for drinks and hors devours or even making a concerted effort to
spend quality time with them at the reception. Although the
reception can be hectic and virtually fly by, it is important to
spend a little extra time with your out of town guests who have
made a sacrifice to attend your wedding.

The secret to accommodating your out of town guests is to make
every effort to ensure that they know their attendance is
greatly appreciated. Small gestures such as reserving a block of
hotel rooms or putting together a list of tourist attractions as
well as more significant gestures such as preparing welcome
baskets and making an extra effort to spend time with your out
of town guests all contribute to making your out of town guests
feel appreciated and welcomed. It is important to let your out
of town guests know that you realize that they have made
sacrifices to travel to your wedding and that you appreciate
them just for being there.

Of course, it’s impossible to put everything about weddings into
just one article. But you can’t deny that you’ve just added to
your understanding about weddings, and that’s time well spent.

When you take a moment to think about your self-esteem, what
comes to mind? STOP READING NOW! Take that moment…what does
come to mind?

Do you immediately tell yourself what you do well? Do you
remember all the good that you do? Terrific! Many folks have a
tendency to first notice the places they have failed or are not
doing enough. They think about what they have not done rather
than what they have accomplished. They see their personal cups
half-empty, rather than half-full.

How about you? If your first thoughts are positive, you have
self-confidence. Want some more? There’s a secret! Keep your
promises to yourself. Yes, when you say that you will spend an
hour alone, do it! When you decide on a food program, follow it!
When you determine the best exercise for you, do it!

Recently I spoke with a woman who told me how well she felt
after three weeks of paying attention to her health. She was
thoughtful about her food choices, slept well and made time for
her exercise of choice. She said that it made her feel good
about herself. Of course it did!

When I asked her if she was continuing with that program, she
said no. Why not? Somehow her overwhelming desire to keep
millions of balls in the air and run herself ragged seemed more
attractive. Isn’t that an interesting conundrum?

This is an issue of self-esteem. You have to feel that you
deserve to feel good in order to do what it takes. Sure, there
are times when work or family need all your attention, however,
once the crisis is over, return to taking care of yourself. If
the crisis is too long, you’ll run out of energy and begin to
deplete all your reserves. This won’t help your work or family,
will it? It is also likely to cause you to resent the work, the
demands or the people. Then, you might beat yourself up for
feeling that when, actually, resentment is simply a sign that
you are not giving yourself what you are giving to others.
Notice this and take better care of yourself.

Be consistent with your self-care. This doesn’t mean creating a
rigid schedule. That only causes resistance. Be gentle, yet
firm, with yourself. Exercise for thirty minutes three times a
week. That’s a great start…and it’s do-able. Once you get that
established, you’ll probably feel like adding to it, so, take a
walk, play a game or go for a swim. Set yourself up to win and
enjoy it! You deserve it.

Consistency creates self-confidence. Go for it!

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Keynotes, Seminars & Coaching for entrepreneurs & professionals
who want the motivation & strategies to achieve, to lead and to
live richly. Creator of the Living Richly Program Host of
Living Richly on www.wsRadio.ws. Author of OPTIMIZE Your Day!
Practical Wisdom for Optimal Living Optimize Life Now! San Diego, CA
www.OptimizeLifeNow.com

Who Can Be A Freelance Editor or Proofreader?

Anyone can be a Freelance Editor or Proofreader. That is, anyone
with a good grasp of the English language, or native language if
you want to edit non-US documents.

Do you cringe at typos and grammatical errors in newspapers,
magazine articles, Internet articles and web sites? Do you find
yourself correcting the errors as you read along? Then being a
freelance editor or proofreader might be the home-based business
for you.

It’s true that many freelance editors have college degrees with
an English Major. Or at the very least, they’ve taken a good
number of English classes. However, having a degree is not a
requirement for being a freelance editor. The only real
requirement is a good, no a great, grasp of the English
language. There are many successful freelance editors today, who
have taken some classes, but have no degree. Those editors have
a great grasp of the language.

Be careful though. There are many confusing properties of the
English language. There are many different parts to a sentence,
a paragraph, and an entire paper. It’s important to know about
spelling and capitalization; but it’s just as important to know
when to use a comma versus a semi-colon, and what exactly a
dangling modifier is.

If you think that just because you use a program that checks
spelling and grammar, you’re all set, you’re dead wrong. These
programs are limited in their capabilities. They can’t check a
writer’s intonation, intended purpose, or desired outcome. These
programs often check to ensure a word is spelled correctly, but
can’t determine if it is the proper word to use in a statement.

For instance, the sentence below was marked as correct using a
spelling/grammar-checking program:

Incorrect: The birds were in each of there nests. Correct: The
birds were in each of their nests.

You can probably see the error, but these so-called “expert”
programs cannot. And if you can’t see the difference, then walk,
no run to the nearest door!

Seriously though, I read an article awhile back that proposed
only using programs with spelling/grammar checkers. The article
indicated that this would be all you need to put a professional
document on the Internet - document meaning article or web page.

I am in no way stating you shouldn’t use these programs. I use
them all the time, but only as a backup resource. I depend on my
own knowledge of the language to edit a document. Once my
corrections are noted, I then run the document through the
spell/grammar checker. Sometimes it finds things that I missed;
sometimes it finds things that are correct, yet marks them
wrong. But they are very good at finding statements written with
a passive voice. For that I give them credit.

Yet, I digress. If you are considering becoming a freelance
editor or proofreader, I applaud you. There is nothing like the
satisfaction of knowing you’ve helped someone provide a
professional (edited) document for publication.